#I think I want to be warm again.

[wisteria-html]

With my hands, I cradle

The book

The pages are so fragile I fear

They will crumble to dust

They never do

As I touch it my fingertips blacken

Marked by soot or ink

The darkness has not washed away

No matter how hard I scrub

I am colder now.

With my eyes, I watch

The shadow

It grows darker with each passing day

What first was formless is now sharp

Body, features, hands

The fingers grasp for me in the night

Now though, it follows me into the day

I see it on the bus, at work, at home

It never reaches for others

Only me

It is getting closer

I soon will start reaching back

I am surer now.

With my ears, I listen

The whispers

They have been growing louder

Filling rooms

Steadily

Slowly

I can understand the words now

I cannot write them

They are not in a language you could parse

But I know what they want from me

I know what they instruct me to do

They want my blood

I will give it to them

I am stronger now.

No longer am I lonely

Or bereft

Or drifting

I can have anything I ever wanted

I can be known

All it wants is a taste

Just one

I know what that feels like

Soon

Soon

Soon.

I am sorry. Friends.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[th3e-m4ng0]

glub glub

[arom-antix]

Me? Posting finished art? Ain't no way :O

No but @korruptbrekker reached out to me and asked if I was interested in doing a collab (go check out their piece here, I implore you), and you know I could not say no to such a wonderful artist asking lil ol me to do something fun like this. We ended up doing a swap @laugaheim and I came up with ages ago that I so sussinctly refer to as a moodboard-sketch-lineart-render swap. Rolls right off the tongue, right? Nah but it's exactly what it says. Make moodboards, swap and sketch from the other's, swap again and line the other's sketch, and then swap once again and finish the piece you sketched.

Very big thanks to Brekker for reaching out! This was so fun, I hope we can do something together again in the future!

[screechingfromthevoid]

I think the kids are waiting at the sun tree. They've never really done that before. Sleeping by the sun tree. But as they watched their parents and their friends disappear, with fear in their eyes, it was a day full of firsts.

Wolfe ends up running off in a sort of fit. Leona runs after him. They both feel more at home in the woods. They probably went there to calm down. Vesper, as the oldest, decided she needed to get some things in order. Just in case.

And Gwen was going to leave, sneak into her father's office, past all his traps and rigging, until she notices Vax just standing there. Staring at the seams in the bark that aren't really there. She watched him collapse, sitting crisscross on the roots.

So she stayed. She sat next to her big brother, close and leaning on him. Though, she wasn't there looking for support. She had watched his cocky, teenage attitude melt away into a panic. Vax'ildan was panicking.

"They'll be okay," she told him. "They're the heros of the realm. They'll save uncle Vax and the world and come home." She sounded so sure. He had to believe she was right.

They stay there though. For hours. It might have been the most time the pair ever spent with each other. The sun starts wane and their home turns golden and their parents aren't back yet.

Leona and Wolfe come back, their faces red and a little dirty. They hadn't even taken their leathers off. Like they were going home when they saw their siblings still waiting. They flank their siblings, Leona wrapping an arm around Vax's shoulder and Wolfe taking Gwen's hand. Also contented to wait.

The sky is purple by the time Vesper came with blankets, pillows, and large boxes from The Slayer's Cakes. She had all of her siblings favorites picked out. Trinket 's bear claws for Leona. Sun treats for Gwendolyn. Trayon's Blondies for Vax. Keyleth 's almond bark for Wolfe. And her own personal favorite Everlight-as-Air Scones. She brought enough to count as dinner. She wasn't their head of household. She was their big sister. She didn't need to make sure they ate well or went to bed on time. That wasn't her job. Not yet.

The stars were out that night for them, granting them the family time that they desperately needed. They laughed and stole each other's pastries. They danced around any subject related to parents or their aunts and uncles away. Hunting and tinkering and spying were all fair game. The twins fought, Vax'ildan rolled his eyes and they got him to smile. Gwen listened carefully. Vesper counted the hours since their parents left.

She thought the sun might rise and they'd never see them again. She thought they would have to gather their things in the morning sun and start their new lives emerging from the roots on the sun trees. She thought-

The bark of the sun tree cracked and groaned as it split. All of the De Rolo children held their breaths. Aunt Pike, Uncle Scanlan (in centaur form?), the ashari man, Uncle Grog, a very beautiful and very scary elf woman.

Then father. Then mother hanging on the arm of a strange man they recognized immediately.

[hakogyi]

i tried to animate. it was agony!! why do people do this. animators i want to give you all a big kiss you are all so strong

ahh this was inspired by the 3k's murder case post-credits scene where he knocks conan's head with a football + the scene in crossroads at the ancient capital when he realises kazuha is his [redacted for spoilers]...the way he softens when he looks at his best friends just auurrggGRGWWHR

heiji is always so, so full of love and i love him and i think everyone should be in love with him. show me a heiji hater and i'll show you someone who hates love

[draculiza]

I spent all evening trying on different variations of my pirate outfit for Castlefest and I think I've finally got it! Still trying to decide on pants or skirt but I reckon these will both be airy enough while also still looking interesting ^_^

[l1li4n]

i think about them every. single. day.

[becasbelt]

"I wanted to do it. I wanted to take out all my anger at him but I couldn't. I don't know if it's because I'm too weak to do it or if it's because I'm strong enough not to."

"The anger. The sorrow. It's tiring. Gods, I know it's tiring. But you will never rest knowing that she's out there. Or maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength that I do not. To forgive. And trust in tomorrow."

something something it's easier to hold onto hate and anger than to let it go

[xxplastic-cubexx]

chat he follows where you look ........

bonus erik's lil smile with his Magnetic Steps emote ....

[milolunde]

I love that Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds yeah I could never share a bed every single day for the rest of my life. Besides, Cosmo wanted a race car bed!!!!!! It's not fair for him not to have a bed he loves and it's not fair for Wanda and her princess bed either! They're literally magic anyway.

[coolnonsenseworld]

Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0

Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs

[teddybeartoji]

hello gorjus:3333333333

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy time....

[petoskeystones]

whoa thats crazy do you think their ghosts were friends though

right now on beechey island its 23 degrees fahrenheit and raining and theyre sharing john hartnell's shroud talking about outfits they would wear if they werent ghosts (they see a lot of modern outfits on the tourists that come to visit them)......... john torrington is like i think i could rock jeans :D and john hartnell is like you could absolutely rock jeans <3 i think i'd like to wear a flannel shirt and a different toque :) [live liam braine and tom morgan reaction]

so short answer, i've thought about it a normal amount, and my answer is yeah

[scionshtola]

rotating something in my mind about shtola having matoya as a mentor and then growing to see her as a mother figure vs erenville and cahciua distancing themselves by referring to each other as mentor/pupil